"What we play is life."

Oh man, two weeks left! Quite weird to think about, really. What's weirder is that I don't have enough points in lit terms yet and I'm running out of time to do them. Wednesday is my last high school band concert ever, and I've got a solo in it that I seem to keep messing up. Next Monday is my last high school jazz band concert ever, and I've got a solo in it as well that I can actually play decently, I just need to memorize it. After that, it's yearbooks and then graduation.

Wow.

It's all ending so fast--but at the same time I can't wait for it to be over.

In other news, work sucks. I have to work today, tomorrow, and Monday. When does that leave me time to do lit terms??? I'm feeling the crunch here. I have 32 points--I need at least 70 before I'll be happy with it. That's kinda a lot of lit terms. Maybe I should talk to Fox-Bailey and ask him if it's alright for me to turn in a few more that last week of school. I procrastinated too long on them.... argh.

I have a B- in Calculus, but we just took a test yesterday which I think I did really well on. I just want a solid B in that class and I'd be thrilled.

Ugh. School, work, more homework. It's all very lame.

Speaking of work... here I go to do just that. Adios.

Hate to post twice in a matter of hours, but holy crap!

Three pages of German homework + studying for a quiz I missed = done with a cramp in my hand and no desire to ever learn German grammar again.

One mostly finished calculus assignment + one barely started = need to corner Martha and make her teach me this stuff.

One glance at my planner = tear my hair out.

Haven't sent Steph's belated letter. Haven't sent the thank you to Mr. Sather for throwing money at me. Haven't done graduation announcements. Haven't turned in my sorry-I-was-gone-don't-make-me-lose-credit note to the attendance office. Haven't finished stupid quality work for world history. Four assignments in calculus which I barely learned the material for. A few pages of homework in CI and a presentation for which I have to see if powerpoint even works on this computer. 215 pages of Song of Solomon to read by Monday in between work, volunteering, panther band, and blowing my nose. One Hamlet paper to write. Two critical reviews to find. One AP review to finish and turn in. And oh my god, I have two and half weeks left to accumulate 68 points in lit terms.

O. M. G.

This doesn't even include practicing Hatian Fight Song and my solo in Ran Kan Kan for the Jazz Explosion which is a few weeks away. Nor practicing Candide and my solo on that for the band concert which is even closer.

I don't even have room here to get well.

*tears large clumps of hair out*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

*pokes needle in ear and drains fluid*

And all I want to do is watch Friends.

Jazz Band made me very angry this morning. There's this simple rhythm in the latin piece, where trumpets and trombones play offbeats with the saxes, and no one gets that you play it the same time the saxes do! Everyone in my jazz band is stupid.

Then the earthquake drill in second period... it was really cold outside. I was cold. I was not happy. Jostens stuff was picked up at lunch, but the announcements are kind of lame. They're folded crappily. Then another in class essay in fifth! Argh! Why? Why oh why?

I did something rather embarrassing today. I feel like a very bad person. Frau Essex gave me a little "congrats you got a local scholarship" card in third period, but I couldn't miss another day of German, so I waited till halfway through lunch to go see my counselor. I have Rodland, by the way, who is an utter jackass. I pretty much hate him. Anyway, he was sitting in his office talking to some elderly man about something for half an hour while I waited outside until the lady there sent me to fourth period, raging because it would have taken him five minutes to give me the sheet to fill out for the scholarship. So all day I ranted at people about how Rodland was too busy talking to some old guy to see me. I went back in after school, and Rodland gives me the sheet to fill out for the John Sather Memorial Fund.

Rodland: You know, Mr. Sather was in here today.
Me: Really?
Rodland: Yeah, his son died in 1970 in the old gym during a PE class. It was very tragic. He's still broken up about it... when he was in my office today, he teared up.
Me: Oh that's so sad. *oh no, I bet he was that old guy I've been complaining about*
Rodland: He asked me if I thought putting up a plaque in honor of John Sather, his son, would be a good idea. He would list the names of all the people who've been awarded the scholarship there too. I thought it was a great idea.
Me: Yeah.

Oh man. The old guy I ranted about to everyone? He gave me that scholarship! And he wants to put up a plaque that will have my name on it! Oh, I felt soooooooooooooo bad, you have no idea. I sat next to him, separated by a wall with a window, and fumed about how Rodland wouldn't see me, and all the time he was tearing up over his son's death and talking about how he gave me $250 to pay for my college!

Words cannot express how horrible I feel.

But I get to write him a nice thank you note, so that will in part relieve my own personal guilt. I just have to be careful not to apologize for calling him an old guy in that note.

Oh man.

Postmarked that Skandalaris application today. Tonight I need to do the following:

1. Finish Honor Roll scholarship app, along with Harrison Foundation and one other I can't remember the name of;
2. Draw socialism pic for world history;
3. Work on and hopefully finish scantron for calculus;
4. Deutsch Hausaufgaben;
5. Do some more journal entries for that lame ORP.

Ugh.

Hopefully I can get to bed by 8:30... I'm attempting to sleep off my cold, so I don't have to miss another day of school. Bleh.